Parenting teenage boys can be especially difficult for a number of reasons. They are naturally going through changes in their bodies that make them harder to talk to and prevent them from being able to appropriately express themselves from time to time. But this doesn’t have to be a difficult transition. Here are a few tips that will help during the teenage years.
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Learn to Respect Your Son
It is important that you learn to respect that your son is becoming an adult. He is going to need to make some decisions for himself.
Offer Your Help
Know that you should offer your son help whenever he needs it. Make sure that he knows that you are always there for him. When you see that he needs help, ask him what he wants you to do rather than sitting down and trying to help in your own way.
Manage Your Own Emotions
Watching your child grow up before your eyes is very hard. Make sure that you keep your own emotions in check and that you are steady in your efforts to avoid pushing your own fears or issues onto your son.
Love Him
It can be very hard to love a teenage son. Tell him that you love him and share with him that you are proud of him. Do not forget to be open about these feelings.
Live What You Say
When you are talking to your son about something, it is important that you make these lifestyle choices for yourself. He is not going to respect you if you are telling him to do what you say and not to do what you do.
Admit Your Own Faults
You should also make sure that you admit your own faults and that you tell him when you are wrong. Admit to the mistakes that you make and take responsibility for your actions.
Learn to Relax
Relaxing and remaining calm, cool, and collected when you are enraged by a decision that your child has made might feel impossible. However, if you learn how to do this you will be able to better parent your teenage son. Take a deep breath and start counting down from ten.
Learn to Speak Less
You want to use the fewest number of words when speaking to your son. Research shows that the more that you talk the quicker that your son is going to tune you out.
Get Him to Talk
Learn how to ask the questions that are going to get your child talking and sharing things with you. Let him know you are there to talk with him about anything.
Look at His Mood
If you notice that your son is moody or seems irritable, then it might not be the right time to talk about something. Try to talk about difficult issues with your son when he is in a good mood.
Quit Trying to Get in the Last Word
As parents, it can be hard to allow your child to have the last word when you are in the middle of an argument or when you are trying to punish him. Instead of having to have the last word, learn to walk away.
Refrain From Talking Too Much
When you are talking to your child, it is important that you stop yourself from repeating things that you have said before. Don’t worry, your son has heard you, even if he is acting like he did not.
Ask for Permission
If you want to give your teenage son some advice, consider asking him for permission first. While you are not required to do this, it will help your son to look at you differently.
Offer Emotional Support
It is not only important that you be there for your child physically. It is also important that you offer him support of his emotions.
You are In Control
It may not always seem like it, but you are the parent. It is still your job to protect your son. Yes, you need to start giving him some freedom, but he still needs to follow any rules that you set.
As parents, it is our responsibility to train our boys to become young men, able to live on their own, and be able to make their own decisions. Much of the teenage years are spent learning these mistakes.
These tips can help you to successfully parent your teenage boys.
Resources
If you need more help, here are a few items that might be beneficial.
Bringing Up Boys by James C. Dobson
The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
Raising Men: Lessons Navy SEALs Learned from Their Training and Taught to Their Sons by Eric Davis and Dina Santorelli
How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Have a New Teenager by Friday: How to Establish Boundaries, Gain Respect & Turn Problem Behaviors Around in 5 Days by Dr. Kevin Leman
Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men by Leonard Sax
The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults by Frances E. Jensen and Amy Ellis Nutt
Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. Advice should always be obtained from a qualified professional. Every possible effort has been made in preparing and researching this material. We make no warranties concerning the accuracy, applicability of its contents, or any omissions.
